Civic Alert: State of the Union Liveblog

How’s our lovely country faring? If you’ve been keeping up with us here at Civic Alert, you know that things, well, they could be better. Tonight is the final State of the Union address of President Bush’s administration. We here at Civic Alert will be adding our own commentary throughout the President’s speech.


Amy (7:57:41 PM): welcome friends
Curt (7:57:44 PM): yo
Scott (7:57:56 PM): hey
Scott (7:58:05 PM): we ready for this party at the captiol tonight?
Curt (7:58:10 PM): aw yeah
Curt (7:58:19 PM): its going to be sooo boring
Amy (7:58:23 PM): i’m ready to hear many mispronunciations
Curt (7:58:26 PM): we cant even get mad about the war!!
Scott (7:58:49 PM): no, but we can all stand up and clap every ten minutes
Scott (7:58:56 PM): and every five minutes, half of us can stand up and clap
Curt (7:58:57 PM): ugh
Amy (7:59:01 PM): yeah that’s what wastes so much time
Amy (7:59:06 PM): he talks like half of the time actually
Curt (8:01:38 PM): hopefully michelle bachman will represent mn faithfully by groping bush once again
Amy (8:01:50 PM): ha, yessss. a shining moment.
Curt (8:02:21 PM): apparently he will in fact be talking about the war
Curt (8:02:31 PM): do we know what presidential candidates will be there?
Scott (8:02:55 PM): both Clinton and Obama
Scott (8:03:20 PM): they just said that Obama and Kennedy came in together
Amy (8:03:24 PM): aww
Curt (8:03:26 PM): awwww cuuuute
Curt (8:03:45 PM): Ted Kennedy has been in the senate since like ’62
Curt (8:04:00 PM): thats longer than my parents have been alive
Amy (8:04:20 PM): he doesn’t even look that ancient
Scott (8:04:30 PM): yes he does
Curt (8:04:48 PM): here it comes….michelle bachman goes apeshit
Curt (8:05:07 PM): i want that job!
Curt (8:05:32 PM): blue tie aye?
Curt (8:05:39 PM): thats cute
Curt (8:05:57 PM): wtf…youre a congressman…asking for an autograph?
Amy (8:06:22 PM): bush just gave some guy a noogie
Curt (8:06:25 PM): i saw that
Scott (8:07:59 PM): haha
Curt (8:08:19 PM): what is the odd cheering in the background?
Curt (8:08:24 PM): AAAOOHHHHH
Scott (8:09:08 PM): there’s the first one
Amy (8:09:16 PM): it’s like a football game or something
Scott (8:09:17 PM): first standing ovation of the night
Scott (8:09:19 PM): everyone take a shot
Curt (8:09:21 PM): annnndddd…this is why i dont think i have ever watching the entire thing
Curt (8:09:26 PM): *watched
Curt (8:09:56 PM): how long do you think it will take until Cheney falls asleep or picks his nose?
Amy (8:10:05 PM): too bad bill clinton isn’t back there
Scott (8:10:07 PM): he already looks like he’s zoning out
Amy (8:10:11 PM): he’d be out in a second
Curt (8:11:03 PM): “00100100011100110101000”
Curt (8:11:11 PM): cheney’s thoughts
Scott (8:11:14 PM): hahaha
Curt (8:11:23 PM): scotts a nerd…he gets it
Scott (8:11:31 PM): binary ftw
Scott (8:11:41 PM): it’s even funnier if you know what you just said in binary
Curt (8:11:53 PM): “goddamn i just want some wings”
Scott (8:12:07 PM): apparently you do know
Scott (8:12:25 PM): “We must trust people with their own money” = “Don’t take away my tax cuts for the rich!”
Curt (8:12:49 PM): hahaha..kissy face from pelosi
Amy (8:12:57 PM): i think they purposely focus on the people making weird faces
Scott (8:13:01 PM): Oh god, I’m so glad I have a small standard def tv
Curt (8:13:04 PM): someone should start playing the penis game
Scott (8:13:11 PM): I don’t think I could take a close up of pelosi on anything else
Curt (8:13:23 PM): you know..where you say penis back and forth and each time you have to say it louder than the other person
Amy (8:14:06 PM): ooooh good one
Scott (8:14:08 PM): lol president bush, you so funny!
Curt (8:14:12 PM): haha..he can be funny sometimes
Curt (8:14:17 PM): at least he’s trying
Amy (8:14:33 PM): cheney’s still smirking from that one
Scott (8:14:37 PM): Well, if “most americans think taxes are high enough” maybe you should give most americans a tax cut instead of just the rich
Curt (8:14:49 PM): oh my god
Scott (8:14:51 PM): standing O from half the crowd
Scott (8:14:54 PM): is cheney high!?
Curt (8:14:55 PM): cheney looks so evil!
Curt (8:15:00 PM): he farted
Scott (8:15:06 PM): Pelosi smells it
Scott (8:15:18 PM): standing O number 2 from half the crowd
Curt (8:15:42 PM): i spy with my little eye…John Kerry!
Amy (8:15:54 PM): eliminate wasteful programs including public schools and welfare
Curt (8:16:32 PM): pelosi is trying to hide
Curt (8:16:40 PM): cheney laughed
Scott (8:16:52 PM): Unless that bill has to do with war spending… then he won’t send it back with a veto
Scott (8:16:56 PM): he’ll just ask for more
Scott (8:17:15 PM): Oh great, now Congress is going to have even more shit to ignore
Amy (8:18:02 PM): barack is so polite, standing up for tax cuts for rich people!
Scott (8:18:19 PM): well, he’s got just a little bit of money himself
Curt (8:18:20 PM): bummer he is going to repeal them
Amy (8:18:20 PM): he’s probably afraid that cheney will come after him in his sleep otherwise
Scott (8:18:29 PM): they’re related!
Amy (8:18:39 PM): even scarier
Scott (8:18:43 PM): hahaha, Hillary is soooo bored
Scott (8:18:57 PM): she looks like her husband at an MLK speech
Scott (8:20:28 PM): haha
Amy (8:20:30 PM): yeah, its bad results
Scott (8:20:32 PM): is he serious?
Amy (8:20:45 PM): they should start yelling ‘bullshit’
Scott (8:20:45 PM): No Child Left Behind is going to be gone so fast if we get a Dem president this year
Amy (8:20:50 PM): thank goodness
Curt (8:20:59 PM): nope…barack isnt going to eliminate it
Curt (8:21:06 PM): just reform it so it is unrecognizable
Scott (8:24:42 PM): “democracy leads to a better life”
Scott (8:24:50 PM): You think Iraq agrees?
Scott (8:25:37 PM): that’s it? Is that all he’s going to say about energy?
Amy (8:25:41 PM): ooof
Curt (8:25:57 PM): i wonder what percentage of the USAF is in D.C. right now
Curt (8:26:01 PM): hahhahah sleeping man!
Scott (8:27:06 PM): Dick didn’t stand up for that standing O
Curt (8:27:15 PM): did you see obama’s tie? not a red tie, not a blue tie, but a united tie!
Scott (8:27:16 PM): I hope he can feel his legs
Amy (8:27:21 PM): c’mon, he has to protect his heart!
Curt (8:27:42 PM): oh boy..clinton’s red is really jarring
Curt (8:27:48 PM): not to mention she sucks!
Scott (8:28:09 PM): she wants to be easy to find in the crowd
Amy (8:28:29 PM): i love that it’s all about america being ahead of everyone else, not merely trying to protect the entire world
Scott (8:29:13 PM): USA IS NUMBER 1!!!
Scott (8:29:17 PM): WOO!
Scott (8:29:37 PM): hahahahaha
Scott (8:29:40 PM): oh god!
Scott (8:29:51 PM): “All life is treated with the dignity it deserves”
Scott (8:29:59 PM): does he know about Abu Gharib?
Scott (8:30:01 PM): about Gitmo?
Amy (8:30:13 PM): and not homosexuals. duh.
Curt (8:30:19 PM): about thousands of dead Iraqis?
Scott (8:30:37 PM): He said we judges who realize “the Constituion means what it says”
Scott (8:30:42 PM): Except that part about habeas corpus
Scott (8:30:51 PM): and the protections against unreasonable searches
Scott (8:31:43 PM): “armies of compassion?”
Scott (8:31:45 PM): that’s…
Scott (8:31:47 PM): that’s just weird
Amy (8:31:51 PM): an oxymoron?
Amy (8:31:52 PM): yes.
Scott (8:34:21 PM): “Illegal immigration is complicated”
Scott (8:34:22 PM): so deep…
Curt (8:34:24 PM): as in…building a big fence!
Amy (8:34:35 PM): whose ideals?
Scott (8:34:39 PM): although, he didn’t really say how he wants to resolve the problem
Scott (8:34:47 PM): exactly, amy
Curt (8:35:55 PM): Darfur?
Curt (8:36:03 PM): He had better mention Darfur
Amy (8:36:19 PM): nope.
Amy (8:36:24 PM): that’s not our problem, remember?
Scott (8:36:24 PM): how about 9/11 instead?
Curt (8:36:39 PM): What about the largest genocide in the world right now?
Curt (8:36:46 PM): say….maybe…Darfur?
Scott (8:36:46 PM): Yehaw
Scott (8:37:05 PM): What a cowboy thing to say about terrorism, Bush
Amy (8:37:06 PM): justice! revenge! let’s duke it out!
Scott (8:37:17 PM): except, he’s going to ride into the sunset before that
Scott (8:38:49 PM): new hospitals wouldn’t need to be built if we didn’t bomb them to the ground in the first place…
Scott (8:39:27 PM): what book do you think Cheney has in front of him?
Scott (8:39:33 PM): and why do you think he brought a book?
Scott (8:39:47 PM): looks like “catcher in the rye” to me
Amy (8:39:48 PM): berenstein bears
Curt (8:39:51 PM): i think its the speech?
Curt (8:39:57 PM): i have seen a few ppl with them
Scott (8:40:13 PM): well… that wasn’t a very funny answer
Scott (8:40:16 PM): you suck at this
Curt (8:40:25 PM): i mean um…..
Curt (8:40:34 PM): im a jerk monthly!
Curt (8:40:35 PM): hahahah
Curt (8:40:36 PM): ha
Curt (8:40:37 PM): ha
Amy (8:40:50 PM): you redeemed yourself, well done
Amy (8:43:59 PM): this sounds like the going to war speeches in 2001
Amy (8:44:59 PM): whoa, he mentioned the coast guard!!!
Amy (8:45:00 PM): heck yes
Scott (8:46:25 PM): so for those of you at home, the last ten minutes have been: “we’re going to win against Al Qaeda” and “We’re going to give the military as much money as it needs”
Curt (8:48:09 PM): how about…”support our troops, bring them home!”
Scott (8:48:23 PM): getting a standing ovation for saying shit like “freedom gives hope” is the political equivalent to “DETROIT, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!?”
Scott (8:49:26 PM): “it is in the vital interest of the United States that we succeed”
Scott (8:49:31 PM): uh, duh?
Scott (8:49:35 PM): when is it in our interest to fail?
Scott (8:50:31 PM): so, quick recap before I bounce to work. Bush’s key points so far:
Scott (8:50:34 PM): tax cuts are good
Scott (8:50:50 PM): we need to get tough on illegal immigratin
Curt (8:50:59 PM): kill terrorists
Scott (8:51:06 PM): we’re apparently clearly winning the war in Iraq
Scott (8:51:12 PM): and we need to continue the fight
Amy (8:51:23 PM): i’m so sick of bush making our strength and supremacy and our legacy the biggest deal.
Scott (8:51:38 PM): and, even though he didn’t say the words “global warming,” he did say we need to curtail carbon emissions
Amy (8:52:05 PM): i’m guessing there’s been a standing ovation for israel-palestine peace for the last 934857349875 years
Amy (8:52:08 PM): lotta good that’s done
Scott (8:52:17 PM): aw shit, here comes the Iran bashing
Scott (8:52:45 PM): hm, still tooting the Iran nuclear weapon horn
Amy (8:52:55 PM): deja vu
Scott (8:53:03 PM): still demanding that Iran stops nuclear enrichment
Scott (8:55:29 PM): ugh
Scott (8:55:50 PM): calling for amnesty for companies responsible for illegal wiretapping
Scott (8:55:54 PM): lame. I miss my civil rights…
Scott (8:56:07 PM): I’m going to head to work, I’ll log back on when I get there
Amy (8:56:17 PM): and i have a meeting, sorry :/
Curt (8:57:20 PM): haha…well i am not going to talk to myself soooo
Curt (9:03:01 PM): alright homiez…thats it
Curt (9:03:23 PM): i got a phone call and thankfully was allowed to stop paying attention
Scott (9:14:36 PM): what did I miss?
Curt (9:14:49 PM): nothing?
Curt (9:15:08 PM): idk..i got a phone call so i had an excuse to stop paying attention
Scott (9:15:08 PM): awesome
Curt (9:15:12 PM): i hate the state of the union
Scott (9:15:25 PM): yeah, it’s either bullshit or boring
Scott (9:15:39 PM): there are never really any surprises
Curt (9:15:40 PM): tonight…it was both
Curt (9:16:00 PM): the person doing the democratic response supports obama
Curt (9:16:06 PM): governor of kansas
Scott (9:16:17 PM): alright, cool
Scott (9:16:27 PM): anything interesting?
Curt (9:16:53 PM): ummm…she loves america?
Scott (9:17:26 PM): cool cool
Curt (9:17:51 PM): she is making it non-partisan
Scott (9:17:51 PM): continuing the state of the union trend of boring statements that people can’t argue with
Curt (9:17:57 PM): “an american response”
Scott (9:17:59 PM): “democracy is good”
Scott (9:18:03 PM): Standing ovation!
Scott (9:32:05 PM): Alright, I guess that’s it for this year.
Scott (9:32:11 PM): I have a feeling next year will be more exciting
Curt (9:32:25 PM): yeah..barack obama is a much better speaker
Scott (9:32:40 PM): winky face emoticon my friend, winky face emoticon
Scott (9:33:22 PM): we’ll probably have a more in-depth analysis up on President Bush’s final State of the Union address within the next 48 hours
Scott (9:33:29 PM): so stay tuned for that
Scott (9:33:53 PM): other than that, we hope you enjoyed the liveblog, and we’ll see you again a week from tomorrow for our Super Tuesday liveblog

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One Response

  1. If only we could elect George Bush to another term…

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